I recently had a call with Meghan, a social media consultant. She contacted me because she was struggling with how to get new clients. Meghan recently quit her social media director job at a start-up and was now an independent consultant. She had been going to networking events where there were a lot of her target market prospects, but there didn’t seem to be enough prospects who were interested in her services. She was confused about why she wasn’t engaging and converting more new clients.
As I scanned Meghan’s energy field, I noticed was a dark green area in front of her throat. “It looks like you are struggling with some confidence issues about communicating your value. This dark green tell me you fear doing or saying something for fear of not being worthy or not doing it well enough.” Meghan confirmed this was true. It felt uncomfortable to go out and “sell herself”. She was afraid she was not good enough at it to get clients to sign up with her. She had been going to networking events regularly for a while and had not yet signed up single client. She practiced her elevator pitch but she still felt awkward. She didn’t enjoy it. Her lack of confidence was creating a block in her new client acquisition process.
When we talked further, Meghan realized her last boss’s behavior towards her had taken a toll on her self-confidence. (She had quit because of his misogynistic and sexual harassing behavior.) Meghan internalization of her bosses behavior was sabotaging Meghan’s self-belief. It was also hijacking her desire to connect to potential prospects, especially male ones.
I helped Meghan use energy work to clear several limiting beliefs regarding her value and her ability to communicate it. She immediately felt her confidence and positive energy surge. When I spoke with Meghan a few weeks later, she had signed an ideal new client who was paying her full fee.
Attracting ideal clients is a challenge for many entrepreneurs. You can be incredibly skilled at what you do and have a great “elevator pitch”, but if your presence and energy does not radiate authenticity and confidence potential clients may not recognize your value.
Cultivating authentic confidence can be a big challenge for women entrepreneurs. As women we tend to be culturally programmed to be modest and in the background. Promoting yourself can almost feel selfish, arrogant, and narcissistic. How do you “sell yourself” without being pushy or come off like you are a braggart or trying too hard?
Here are a few tips and tricks to help you develop and radiate the authentic confidence that attracts your ideal clients.
1) Let your presence come from your energetic “center”.
a. What it is: Your energetic center, or hara, is located about 2 inches below your navel. This the life force energy that makes up “you” and radiates your presence out into the world. It is both the energetic and gravitational center of your being – body and mind.
b: Why it’s important: People connect to us not because of what we say or do, but because of how our energy makes them feel. When you consciously come from your energetic center you are solidly centered in your authentic self. This kind of calm clear authenticity is what genuine confidence is all about. People like to be around genuinely confident people– it feels grounding and calming. This quality of presence helps communicate your value in an engaging and compelling way.
c. How to do it: Drop your center of awareness down from between your ears–where many of us in Western societies tend to live– to down right below your navel, in the center of your lower abdomen. This takes a bit of practice but if cultivated regularly you will notice you become more naturally grounded and centered even in challenging situations.
2) Cultivate self-compassion
a. What it is: Being kind to yourself in the face of perceived inadequacy or failure
b: Why it’s important: Networking to get new clients can be challenging. Having compassion for ourselves gives us the inner strength to be resilient in the face of challenges. It also helps us to have compassion for others and create a heart felt connection with them.
c. How to do it: There are many effective traditional meditation practices that help cultivate self-compassion. A very simple and basic method is simply sending love to your own heart when you notice yourself being judgemental or irritated with yourself or others.
3) Let go of perfectionism
a. What it is: Setting an impractically high standard for yourself and/or other people.
b: Why it’s important: There is nothing wrong with having high standards. After all, we want to do and be our best. The problem comes when our standards are so high we actually sabotage our own efforts with compulsive self-judgement and over-striving.
c. How to do it: This can be a tough habit to break. It can be very hard to distinguish a healthy striving for excellence vs. a compulsive need to over-achieve. Next time you feel something you are doing isn’t quite up to your standards, ask someone you trust for feedback. Another perspective can help you see what may be your own self-criticism and judgement in a new light.
4) Release the need for approval
a. What it is: Releasing needing validation from others that who you are or what you are doing is OK.
b: Why it’s important: There is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked or approved of. The problem comes when we lose connection with our authentic self by shaping our behavior, our opinions, or our viewpoints to gain the approval of others. Paradoxically, we often get other’s people’s approval when we release our need for it.
c. How to do it
Needing approval is not an intellectual thing, it is purely emotional and subconscious. This energy technique will help you release your need for approval.
1) Mentally, tune into the person(s) you want approval from. Then tune into how wanting their approval feels to you on a body level, particularly in your abdominal and stomach area. Feel it as sensation. Does it feel like gnawing, tension, tightness, constriction?
2) Once you become aware of the sensation, ask yourself if you can let it go. Visualize opening a window or door in the location of the sensation and let the energy leave.
3) Continue to do this until you feel lighter and have a greater sense of well-being. Notice what comes into your awareness.
Have you ever struggled with having the kind of confidence that attracts your ideal clients? How did you overcome it? I would love to hear about it. Please leave your comments below.