How to Bust the Hard Work Myth and Create More Authentic Success?
One of the most pre-dominant cultural success myths is that achieving any major goal requires a lot of hard work. While it’s true that effort and energy are usually required in achieving a major life goal, this myth of hard work can sometimes blind us to easier, more effective, and more fulfilling ways of achieving our goals.
I recently spoke with Mary, a real estate agent. Mary was struggling to grow her client base by following the advice of another real estate agent who got new clients by cold-calling potential prospects. Mary felt like she was just not working hard enough. She found herself avoiding making calls. She hated making cold calls and felt awkward and unconfident getting on the phone with people she’d never met.
Mary was critical of herself about not following through and making herself do the calls. Mary also noticed when she did manage to get herself on the phone she avoided calling high-end prospects and gravitated towards the middle to lower income prospects. Mary realized these prospects tended to be unqualified buyers, took up a lot of her time, and often did not turn into buyers.
Mary was discouraged about growing her business. Mary wanted to know how she could be more confident and make calls consistently to more affluent potential buyers so she could get more clients and make better sales. She wanted to know what was going on in her energy field that was making it difficult for her to attract clients.
Here’s what I saw in Mary’s energy field:
1) White — throat center
The first color I saw in Mary’s field was a patch of white in her throat. I told Mary, “this white patch of energy in front of your throat tells me that you are having a hard time taking action because you have to high a standard of what is the right action. You want your actions to be perfect and to not make any mistake, so instead of taking action you stay in a kind of analysis paralysis.”
Mary confirmed that this was true. She had been told conflicting advice from different advisors about the best way to find clients. She felt confused and unconfident and found herself procrastinating instead of just taking action. She wanted to take the actions that were right for her to get clients. The cold calling was not feeling right but she wasn’t clear about what else she could do to get clients.
2) Black — heart center
The next color I saw in Mary’s field was some black coloration in front of her heart chakra. “This black energy in front of your heart chakra is telling me you are wanting to change how you love yourself. You are wanting to let go of a pattern in your relationships that no longer serves you so you can have more fulfilling ones.”
Mary said she had been caught in this pattern of reaching out to lower income buyers who often could not afford home ownership in the Bay area. She would spend a lot of time with these prospects trying to match them with a home only to have the transaction go nowhere because of financing and other issues.Mary wanted to make connections with more affluent people who could afford home ownership but felt unconfident doing so because she was not a well experienced broker.
3) Dark yellow — sacral center
The last color I saw in Mary’s field was dark yellow in the second chakra. I told Mary, “This dark yellow in front of your abdomen is telling me that you are stuck in a comfort zone about what you can desire. It actually feels somewhat uncomfortable for you to let yourself fully feel your desire for what you truly want.” Mary was a bit confused by this information because she really did feel her desire to make more and better sales.
As we explored further, it became apparent that Mary’s desire was not just to get more sales, but to get them in a way that she enjoyed. Paradoxically, her “desire comfort zone” was feeling like she was working hard to get sales. Letting herself do things she enjoyed to help her make sales, such as networking and social activities, on a deeper level, actually felt uncomfortable to Mary. This was exactly the mindset that was working against her.
Mary realized she had been rejecting activities, like a writer’s group she had wanted to join, that would have allowed her to build her network and attract potential clients organically. She also realized building a network would not only be more enjoyable but also help her with her real underlying issue– building her self-esteem and confidence in a natural way. She could always cold call as well if she wished to do so.
When there is pressure to make more sales it is easy to lose the forest for the trees. In creating a business, even more important than working hard and being good at what you do is creating meaningful relationships. Success depends not just on “an expert” at what you do but getting other people to know like and trust you. Especially in a crowded niche such as real estate sales, creating a large supportive network of people who know like and trust you is especially critical for success.
The know like and trust factor has to begin with yourself. You need to know like and trust yourself for other people to do the same. That means being true to yourself, who you really are, and what you really want and need. Then you start making those authentic heart centered connections that grow your business in a way that not just makes you money, but that truly fulfills you.
I hope you found this blog post helpful. Have you ever found yourself caught in a hard work myth? How did you break through? I would love to hear about it. Please leave your comments below.