Recently a client of mine was talking with me about “getting out there” and beginning to market herself and her business in the online space. She had reservations about it. She was especially fearful with being pushy or salesy- rather than service oriented. “It’s not logical–I know I need to reach my people to help them. “It makes me feel really uncomfortable and nervous somehow but I don’t really know why…”, she said.
When I looked at my clients energy field I saw a large mass of white energy in her solar plexus energy. White indicates perfectionism and the solar plexus controls use of power.This indicated a pattern I often see in my female clients– my client had a fear of using her power to market herself for fear of abusing her power.
Putting ourselves out there into the marketplace takes courage, assertiveness and confidence. If we are to do it well enough to benefit ourselves and our businesses we need to have all of these three qualities solidly in place. However as women in a patriarchal society we have been taught from the time we are little girls that those three qualities–assertiveness, courage, and confidence are not feminine. In fact, they are subtly frowned upon in women by our traditional patriarchal culture. This cultural programming makes women uncomfortable about fully owning their power and using their own inherent gifts and capabilities.
To add even more pain to this uncomfortable inner conflict around owning our own power, as women we see power abused almost everywhere we look by the predominantly male power structures in our society. In fact, it is a sad reality that in the world power is frequently used to gain more power more often than it is to help the general population. For millennia, women have witnessed the abuse of power by the patriarchy. So for many women, the act of stepping into their power is actually uncomfortable not so much because they lack confidence as much as they fear subconsciously they will become power abusers themselves.
How do you know if you have a success block due to fear of your own power? Here are some clues:
1)You are invited to give a talk, lead a group, or apply for a promotion but feel discomfort or resistance around it even though deep inside you know you should do it.
2)You resist marketing or promoting yourself because you fear you will come across as arrogant, pushy, or narcissistic.
3)You tend to feel shy and introverted and hold back from speaking up in groups or sharing your opinion because you fear being a “show-off” or “too pushy.”
Do you suspect you might have a success block that is due to a fear of your own power? The key to overcoming any subconscious block is to be aware of it and feel it. These blocks reside in the body-based emotional mind, not the intellectual mind.
Traditional masculine self-development methods teach women to override “negative feelings” with “mind power”. However, what you resist, persists. Women can end up shaming themselves around their own feelings–”I really shouldn’t be un-confident! I must not be being positive enough!” This can make the problem worse.
Instead of the “male warrior” method of resisting and overriding your uncomfortable feelings, try a different method that is based on being compassionate with yourself.
Here is a simple energy healing technique to help you break through your fear of power to more success:
1.Tune into your body sensations. Sense the uncomfortable feelings around using and stepping into your power. Feelings are key to helping you identify where your energy is flowing and where it is blocked. What do the feelings feel like as physical sensation? Where are they located in your body? Do they feel like tension, constriction, pressure, heaviness, or something else? Allow the feelings to be there in your body without resisting them or attempting to override them with your mind.
2. Now imagine a window or door opening where the feelings reside. For example, you can imagine a window opening in your chest, or a door opening in the area of your stomach.
3. Ask yourself, “Can I let this go?” Allow the energy to leave your body through the window or door you created. Breathing deeply during this process may help you release the blocked energy. Continue doing this for as long as it you feel the energy release. This can take a bit of practice but you will probably feel a subtle sensation of relief as the energy block leaves your body.
4. Now think again about stepping into your power. How do you feel about it now? Notice what comes into your awareness.
Once my client realized her misgivings stemmed from fear of abusing power, she realized two things: 1) she was not only holding herself back from reaching the clients that needed her healing work, but 2) she needed to heal this block in herself so she could help her clients who were struggling with her own issues around owning their power. We then did some energy work to clear the uncomfortable emotions around fully owning and stepping into her power. Shortly after, my client became inspired to re-brand herself and re-do her website in a way that would more fully showcase her expertise and attract more of her ideal clients.
Would you like to confidently use your power to create more success in your life and business? My Inner Wealth Tool Kit helps you use your emotional energy to break through to a whole new level of success and abundance. You can get it free here.